Thoughts on El Día del Amigo -July 20th

<<¡Así... así... así me gusta a mi!>>

You cannot get mad at the at the pseudo-line to get into a club in Latin America... hey at least there is one!!! It is Monday, and the foreigner-friendly bar is packed by nine, a rather exceptional thing in Buenos Aires. We like the bar because its cheap. We won't get in, I say, today is El día del amigo. ¿El día del amigo? That's another capitalist invention for even more consumerism, She says. We get in. Everyone inside is so euphoric, so happy, so friendly. I finally make it to the bar to get a drink, the bartender does not see me. A girl next to me says, Che, give me your tickets I will order for you we tipped him, he serves us quicker. Ok here, tickets for 5 cheeseburgers and 2 $50 pitchers, thank you so much. Che sos la primera inteligente que comprá todo de una. She orders. Where are you from?, Mexico, I thought you were Colombian, Yeah I heard that one before. While I am waiting for our food we start talking to each other. I knew that one day I was going to meet a nice Porteña. As I am leaving, I say thank you once again she says Feliz día del amigo che. I hug her, I just felt like doing it, and said the same.

<<¡Qué bonito... qué bonito! Qué bonito que te vine a encontrar para que me ayudes a cantar...>>

Not everyone understands why am I here. Sometimes I don't understand it either. I rebuilt an entire new life in Toronto, my friends became my family. None of us celebrates thanks giving nor family day but we use them as an unnecessary excuse to get together as one big constructed family. After four years I realized that, as all things in life, our family will start melting little by little, everyone is going to start taking their own path. "We will all spend our last summer together" I said one of those sleepless night next to my best friend. We did not, I left. I miss them as I miss my family at home. I met new people, I am already planning our next encounter, it is never the same... comparisons cannot be made, normative judgements have no place. What is the thing that makes you happy Mariele? I said coffee, he laughed. I always drink coffee by myself when my mind get into an automatic over-philosophizing mode. I drink it when I write, when I read but I also use it as an excuse to spend more time with my friends who are my foreign family and my family who are my local friends. So you mean that loneliness and friendship make you happy? I like shoes too...

<<Es mentira... es mentira... es mentira la verdad>>

I know people change, I love change if not life would be static, boring, lifeless. I do not tolerate hypocrisy nor lies; hiding the truth is the same thing as lying, at least that is how I feel about it. She hurt me because I cared, she hurt me because her actions hurt Her, she hurt me because I trusted her as my friend, she hurt me because I did not expected it, she hurt me because she never thought about me when she was making such decisions, it was all about her infinite childish desires... and me paying for the consequences. I was shaking walking around Palermo trying to find a solution in less than 12 hours. I could not end up homeless... not again...not when I was going to a field trip the next day. I could not even sit down for a cup of coffee. I needed another cigarrete... no more left. I talked, did not solve all of her mess. I do have feelings, I can't pretend I am not hurt... but as always I will find a way to overcome.

I sat down in front of the computer. Skype did not help, my friends in Toronto must had been working. I started crying out of anger, out of helplessness, feeling betrayed. An MSN window opened ¿Qué paso güey?... Je te crois pas... Come to my house.

Deep breath, shoes on, coat ready, locked the door and started walking. Saw a taxi and jumped in "Tucumán y Esmeralda" Do you mind if I smoke Miss?, Do you mind if I join you? long day huh? Has not even started yet Miss I have to stay all night my kids are going back to school soon.

A tear came down all the way down to my lips, the driver did not notice my heart did. When my friend opened the door and hugged me, she said everything would be fine, worse comes to worse I could move in there. There is no quantity over quality when it comes to friendship. They have my back when I was so lucky to accidently meet them two months ago. Someone I met over a year ago left me hanging in limbo after we planned to share this over four months ago cheering with a gin and tonic. I am not going to let a little rock on the road to stop me from walking this amazing journey. It was not only her fault, I boycotted myself for caring too much about someone I thought I knew enough. It is not knowing someone in terms of decades, years, months, hours, minutes, seconds. As efficiency, quality is immeasurable... several years studying social sciences should have told me that...